Holidays, Parties, and Not Being Invited

I always wondered if those folks were taking those unopened bottles of wine to a better party, one with more people and more fun, or an exclusive party that I wasn’t invited to.

Travelling Grateful Dead Tour Dancing Bear on Dashboard

Holidays, Parties, and Not Being Invited

tropical-holiday-snowman-grass-skirt-danceI’m struggling with the same scenario as a friend currently, so I wrote this first psychedelic sister rant for her. She is a psychedelic sister herself; a mind altering mosaic of confusion and artistic expression, and a mind awakening crooked lightning bolt of love and progressive energy.

But during times like these, I’ve found that women and men like us, become the most aware and self-conscious of our strange and psychedelic ways because we don’t fit in. This is mainly because, well, we don’t fit in. Therefore when it comes to holidays and parties, we are also often not invited.

Holidays with Family and Friends

I had for 16 years lived on the opposite side of the country from any of my blood family, making holidays strange. I struggled to find families and friends locally, that seemed appropriate to spend holidays with over those years. Without any connection to them religiously, and without any connection to their families relationally, it was difficult for me to see my place among their parties.

Many will corroborate that “one” year I spent “a” holiday with them at their family or friend’s house in an out of place manner. Others will remember the holidays i spent with them on the street, homeless, eating from the soup kitchen, or being chased by a car the wrong way down a one way street to be given meat filled sandwiches when I was actually Vegan. My memory most fondly? places me spending Christmas Eve on the couch of a recently released convicted felon who, understood my demise when he found me freezing on a park bench around midnight that night. When you don’t have friends or family who share the same struggles and strangeness you feel, you are often forgotten about during social parties and family dinners, because they don’t realize how solitary you actually are.

Not Invited to the Party?

Travelling Grateful Dead Tour Dancing Bear on Dashboard
Weir Everywhere

Now, not only am I still over a thousand miles from my blood family, and subsequently seemingly the same in emotional miles, I am also over a thousand miles from my family and friends of 16 years. Most of whom have yet to have spoken real words to me by voice since my departure, let alone scribble a few words to me via a social media platform. These include less than half a dozen who dribbled a Happy Thanksgiving! to me, by text message on the last significant holiday. Which, in that case it was mostly ok with me, considering I often find myself in mourning on that day anyway. But certainly, I was not invited to any Thanksgiving parties this year.

These folks like my friend, whom I may not have been close enough to, to be invited to holiday parties with, but close enough to, to miss that concept of possibility, I think about constantly. Back then I wondered, if only did I have the funds to throw a great party, or the courage to invite some of them to my party, whether any of them would attend the party anyway. Especially considering the poor track record of attendance at the parties I did throw when I was working for the state, in which when flush with funds for liquor, wine, and greens, I had so many leftovers from poor attendance that I was sending unopened bottles of wine home with each of the few attendees who managed to stay for more than 20 minutes. I always wondered if those folks were taking those unopened bottles of wine to a better party, one with more people and more fun, or an exclusive party that I wasn’t invited to.

This year I find myself in a similar scenario as she, and again one I’ve been all too familiar with in the past. I find myself feeling like a stranger among a series of holidays that I want to celebrate, regardless of the fact that I’m non-religious. In my new home, I haven’t been invited to a holiday party yet. I’ve heard of them, and I know they are already occurring around me. With few friends, and no family in my current home town, I’m gearing up again for my own mosaic of confusing feelings during this holiday seasons onslaught of parties I won’t be invited to.

Invite Yourself, and Be the Party!

Forks Washington Saw Shop sign saying Best Boobs instead of Best boots
Change the narration. Write your own story!

This year I suggest that those who feel that their strange, unusual, or psychedelic presence at a holiday party in unwelcomed or uninvited, denudate the stereotype of holiday parties we’ve all been accustomed to. I encourage you to openly invite yourself, and define the holidays and parties the way you want to celebrate them, and the way you want for your friends and relatives to see you celebrating them, invited or not. When we realize the positive ways that we contribute to holiday parties, we become the life of the parties, and we bring the parties to life.

You can attend dressed in a string of Christmas lights and plug yourself right into the wall. I guarantee, that nobody will forget how much fun their uninvited guest was that year. As you walk around the room, unraveling your LED’s, you will open the eyes and brighten the minds of friends, strangers, and those you thought you never knew who’s lives you could lighten with your psychedelic soul.

Wear your light brightly and stay psychedelic, sister Sarah!

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